


His Own Little World

by ImmediatelyWriting



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Medical, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coma, Comatose Makoto, Fear, Friendship, Grieving Haruka, Happy Ending, M/M, MakoHaru can be shipped through this fanfiction, Medical Conditions, One Shot, Please don't hate me for not letting them kiss, Sad, Short One Shot, makoharu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24606511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmediatelyWriting/pseuds/ImmediatelyWriting
Summary: After the accident, Makoto slipped away from reality.He lives in his own little world, or so they say.Haruka has to watch his best friend fading away to live in his world of imagination.
Relationships: Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	His Own Little World

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there!
> 
> So, this is my VERY FIRST one shot... hihi.   
> After writing for almost four years I have never done a one shot, but I just had the idea for this fanfiction and I thought it was too small to make it into multiple chapters like I normally do, and I was bored anyway, so here's my first one shot. 
> 
> I hope you'll like it :)  
> If you do, I have more Free! fanfictions in this genre, but they're a little longer
> 
> Love, Noa <3

Staring down at Makoto's sleeping body is the worst, that's what Haruka thinks at least. Because Makoto isn't just asleep, he's off and away, not hearing Haruka's stories and unable respond to any of the thousand questions Haruka has asked him in the past years. 

Makoto's been laying still like this for a long while now, but Haruka's never thought about leaving his best friend's side. He visits every day after school and he stays until it's so dark outside he can't stay a minute later.

He has to be there when Makoto wakes up, _if_ Makoto wakes up.

Seeing him like this, tubes entering his throat and a heart monitor by his side to reassure everyone he's still alive, it hurts a lot. It has haunted Haruka ever since the accident happened and walking into Makoto's tiny hospital room will never get something Haruka can get used to. 

The accident that had nearly taken away Haruka's best friend. 

It happened when they were just kids. 

They'd never thought a day at the beach would end so miserably, but sadly it did. 

While they were playing in the shallow water Makoto suddenly got dragged away by a wave.

Haruka had screamed Makoto's name and searched for his best friend in the raging water, unable to find him quick enough. 

The merciless ocean pulled Haruka under water as well, and he woke up in the hospital a few days later. 

Haruka remembers waking up like it happened just yesterday, but instead it was four years ago, a few days after Makoto's 13th birthday. He remembers waking up to the bright lights so clearly, but what happened after has always been one big blurry memory to him as if it was all just a dream after all. 

But it wasn't a dream; Makoto had really slipped into a coma, and the doctors had actually told Makoto's parents that he'd probably never wake up again. 

Even though the doctors have told Haruka that the damage done to Makoto's brain is too severe that he could ever function like a normal seventeen year old several times, Haruka gave himself the important job to stay by Makoto's side. He'd fought for his best friend's live multiple times, like when they almost pulled the plug on Makoto a year ago. Haruka was the one speaking up and begging Makoto's grieving parents not to give up on their son. 

"He will come back," Haruka kept telling himself through all the years he'd been by Makoto's side. But every time Makoto did open his eyes for a day or two, this happened once or twice a year, Makoto wouldn't be himself. 

Like the doctors said; his brain wasn't functioning anymore and, even though his eyes were opened, Makoto wasn't anywhere near aware or where he was or whom was with him. 

And when Makoto would slip back into his deep sleep again after being "awake" for a moment, it always felt so peaceful. But that peaceful feeling of seeing Makoto sleeping calmly only lasted a day at most, after that Haruka started wondering about the moment he'd see those green eyes again and hear his best friend's voice for the first time in so long. 

_Would Makoto sound any different?_ Haruka often wondered, knowing Makoto's appearance had changed a lot since the day it happened. Makoto had gotten so much thinner, and even though he slept all the time, his eyes were lined with black circles.

He also looked so much older, like a real teenager just like Haruka. Makoto had developed actual male features he didn't have when he was younger, like the little olive brown fuzzy stubbles on his chin and the more distinct cheekbones. If his hair hadn't grown so long in the past years, Haruka might've even thought of Makoto as handsome. 

Haruka knew his friend would look a little more like himself after having the tubes removed from his throat and maybe after he'd have a haircut it would be like nothing had ever changed at all. Maybe Haruka could see his bright green eyes sparkle with life again; Haruka liked to daydream about that a lot. 

He often wondered what Makoto dreamed about, because he knew that Makoto dreamed a lot.

Haruka knew they're nice dreams, because he'd seen Makoto smile absently every once in a while. The first time it happened, two months after the accident, Haruka thought it was a sign that Makoto was waking up, but the doctors told him otherwise. 

"He's probably dreaming," they told him. "I bet he's creating his own little world."

That thought kind of comforted Haruka, knowing that Makoto hadn't completely disappeared. He was living in a little world created in his own mind, and every time a smile appeared on Makoto's face Haruka couldn't help but think about what Makoto was experiencing. 

Sometimes Makoto mumbled things too, but they were completely inaudible so Haruka never knew what he was trying to say. But he likes the imagine that they're things he says to the people in his own world. 

He likes to think that he's also a part of Makoto's imaginary world, one where they're both happy and grown up. That maybe they have more friends in Makoto's world; Haruka hasn't got any friends outside of Makoto, because Makoto's the one who's good at making friends, not him. 

And maybe Makoto's parents are so sad in Makoto's mind. And Haruka hopes that in Makoto's world Ren and Ran are actually able to smile when they see their older brother, instead of cry.

But Haruka might never hear about Makoto's world, because the only one who knows what happens there is Makoto himself and the doctors still hold on to the thought that he's never going to wake up again. 

Still, he can't help but think about it while he holds Makoto's freezing hand in his, waiting for it to finally squeeze back. 

Some people might say that every day of sitting beside a hospital bed is the exact same, but Haruka wouldn't agree; there are days when Makoto's sleeping all day, of course, but most days are different from the one before.

Because on certain days Haruka's there early, like in the weekends, and he's allowed to be beside Makoto as they give him his food through his feeding tube.

And on other days, the good ones, Makoto wakes up and they put his bed upright so he can look out of the window. 

The bad days are also completely different than the others, but Haruka likes to forget about the moments when Makoto's heart stops for a second and he gets send out of the room so the nurses can yell at each other while they perform CPR and every time they get results from another unneeded brain scan which, again, shows not much of a brain activity. Those are the worst days, and the nights that follow are mainly sleepless ones for Haruka. 

Today's different too, because it's exactly four years after the accident; Makoto's 17th birthday. 

Haruka's on his way to the hospital in the morning, because it's a weekend day. He's early, because he's planning to be there when the nurses feed Makoto; it's his birthday breakfast after all.

While struggling to stand upright in the full train, Haruka lists up every birthday rule he's made. He adds a new rule to the list with every birthday he spends at the hospital. Sometimes he makes a few when he suddenly comes up with an important one, so he has ten so far. 

He's got everything from buying him a birthday present and singing him a song to making sure not to cry when walking into Makoto's room. 

The rules are simple, but sometimes it's still hard to follow them. This year he almost wasn't able to succeed in keeping to all the rules, because Makoto's parents have given up on Makoto so badly that they didn't want to come by to celebrate Makoto's birthday today. 

"We can't do this anymore, Haruka," Mr. Tachibana had said after taking the phone from, the now crying, Mrs. Tachibana. "It's too painful to see our boy like that."

They haven't visited in weeks for that reason, and if Haruka wouldn't come at their door to beg them to "please, don't give up on Makoto" they'd pulled out the plug a long time ago. But Haruka couldn't let it happen that they didn't even visit on Makoto's birthday, so he begged them over the phone until they agreed to come by for a few minutes this evening. 

Other than that Haruka has easily kept himself to his rules, he's bought Makoto an MP3 player and earbuds. He put several audio books on it so Makoto can listen to them when he wakes up. They match the books that Haruka bought him last year. 

The train stops at the hospital in Tokyo, the best one and the only one that is still trying to keep Makoto alive, and Haruka gets off. 

It's just a small walk to the entrance, but Haruka still feels his heart beating while he walks over the parking lot. Today's definitely different from all the other days this year, because today he has rules to follow and an act to put up; the act of happiness, which is a feeling he hasn't actually felt in a long while. 

The disinfected air inside of the hospital also feels heavier than usual and when Haruka walks into the Makoto's hallway in the ICU he nearly immediately gets ran over by one of the nurses. She's the lady that's been taking care of Makoto and she's also the one who's brought Haruka the bad news every time before. 

"Nanase," she calls his name, bending forward, catching her breath, as she leans with her hands on her knees. "Great timing, I need you to come with me now!"

Haruka glances from the wheezing nurse to Makoto's room, which is just a few steps away from him.

Knowing that it's probably news about some unneeded brain scan or another short heart arrest that occurred yesterday when Haruka was away, he decides to ignore her.

He promised himself not to listen to her negative talking today. Just for today, this can wait.

"Listen to me, Nanase," she snaps as Haruka ignores her and lays his hand on the doorknob, ready to go inside Makoto's room. "I need you to come with me, to my office first. I have news about young Tachibana."

Haruka swallows, it sounds urgent, but he's not in for a dose of bad news today, not on the only day that he can pretend that everything's normal. 

So he continues to ignore her, turning the doorknob until the door clicks. He goes inside, just like every other day. 

But today's different. 

"Morning," Haruka mumbles as he walks into the tiny room. 

It isn't until Haruka's closed the door behind him that he sees that Makoto's bed is upright, so Makoto can look out of the window. It means he's chosen today to be awake, today of the few days a year.

Haruka forces himself to smile, because he promised not to be sad today even though he knows the days Makoto's "awake" are the most painful of all. 

"Happy birthday, Makoto," he says, taking a seat on the chair beside Makoto's bed. "I see you've chosen to be awake. Great."

He knows the cheerfulness in his voice is only an act, there's nothing great about this. It means that Makoto will be "awake", but still completely absent and still off in his own little world. 

Haruka's attention gets drawn to the door, flying open when the nurse storms into the room. 

_What is her problem?_ Haruka thinks to himself, scoffing and turning back to Makoto. 

Makoto's beautiful green eyes are staring at Haruka, and for a second Haruka's almost sure that he sees that lively sparkle in Makoto's eyes. The shimmer he's been waiting for. 

But it couldn't, Haruka knows this, so he looks away again. 

"He's awake," the nurse shouts, her voice echoing through the room. 

Haruka rolls his eyes and mumbles, "Yes, I can see that." But when his gaze moves back to Makoto he sees the difference he didn't notice before; the thick tube has been replaced by nasal cannula and there's a sheepish smile on Makoto's face. 

"He's actually awake," the nurse repeats. 

Haruka gasps, glaring at Makoto. He looks more alive indeed, especially when he tilts his head and closes his eyes while he smiles like he used to do when they were younger. It's a more grown up version of Makoto's special smile, the one he used to give Haruka a lot, not just the ghost of a smile that he'd sometimes show when he was dreaming about something good. 

"Makoto?" Haruka whispers, wrapping his hand around Makoto's hand like he always does. For the first time in four years Makoto actually squeezes back, it's a weak squeeze, but it's enough to make Haruka's held back tears stream over his cheeks. 

He promised not to cry today, but these are happy tears so that's okay. 

"He just decided to wake up this night," the nurse explains. "It's a miracle."

Haruka nods in happiness, actual happiness. 

"He's not completely back." Haruka nods as reply to the nurse's statement, but he's barely listening to the nurse as she explains that Makoto's not yet able to talk or do things like that. And he completely turns her sound off in his head when she starts talking about how Makoto's never going to be able to be a "normal" teenager. 

Because Makoto's back, he's awake and aware of what's going on; that's more than enough for now. 

"You're back," Haruka cries, bringing Makoto's hand to his face and resting his forehead on it. "You're finally back."

Makoto makes a soft sound, it's barely audible, but Haruka knows it's a "yes". 

**Author's Note:**

> So... that was it :)
> 
> I hoped you liked it, because I surely loved writing it (though it took me about 2 hours, haha)  
> I'd love it if you'd leave me a comment to let me know what you thought about it, and I hope you're not mad that I didn't have Makoto and Haruka kissing at the end, I thought it would be a little too much after the rest of the story, you see :')
> 
> Okay, anyway... I'm going to start working on a longer MakoHaru fanfiction now!
> 
> Love, Noa <3


End file.
